What must have been going through her thoughts that day I can only imagine. She was leaving her home, her community. There was no opportunity for a final walk through of her home. There was no opportunity for a going away coffee with her friends. Her body had failed her and with that, quiet tears slid down her face as she looked out the window. All I could do was to hold her hand and grieve with her.
It’s been one year since we settled our sweet little mama into her new “home”. I wish I could mention home without the quotation marks but the simple fact is this is not home. This is not her house. This is not her home. I am still grieving that loss. I miss the days when we would visit her in her home. I miss curling up on her couch and sleeping in her guest bedroom. I miss family dinners in her dining room and cleaning up dishes in her kitchen. I just miss having her in her home.
She is doing well, though. She even refers to her room as “home”. And it is home to her. She is surrounded by bits and pieces of familiar furniture and lots of family pictures. It’s been a year of a lot of emotional ups and downs for all of us but we are settling in as new memories and moments are being made. Visits “home” are shorter but yet sweeter. They are still filled with lots of love, laughs, and cribbage. She is cared for, she is safe, and she is loved.
Here’s to the first year, mom. I love you. I'll see you in a couple of days.